It’s something unpredictable but in the end is right,I hope you had the time of your life

Please don’t die. Please. You can’t. You’re all I have.

I found JJ in a crumpled heap in his stable at half past 5 in the morning. He couldn’t stand,he could scarcely lift his head. I got him to his feet and I summoned the vet,we put every drug in the car into the horse and I headed for the hospital. Loose flexures of intestine. Brick red membranes. Heart rate through the roof. A mess,a crisis,this is serious.

Surgery followed. Not his first time on the table,but surely the most dangerous. He was circling the plug hole at a dizzy rate and he really really might not make it this time.

Please don’t die. There is only you. I’m so proud of all you are. Please don’t die.

He survived the surgery. The drugs worked. Peristalsis resumed. His rates stabilised. I visited him every day and eventually he came home. Two weeks later,he went down again with a peritoneal hemorrhage. He was rushed back to the hospital.

Please don’t die.

In time,he made a full recovery. In the end the thing that killed him five years later was far more sinister than any colic,but that’s for another day.

Those moments that threaten to take the lives of those you love the most,lives that you can’t survive without-they leave scars on our souls.

In the end,we do survive. Time does not heal all,but it does bring distance. Distance brings its own clarity-we learn,we move on.

Another turning point,a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist,directs you where to go

So make the best of this test,and don’t ask why

It’s not a question but a lesson learned in time

Its something unpredictable but in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life


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I am a Sports horse producer based in Ireland. That sounds very grand....the reality is that life here is crazy-trying to fit four horses,200 cattle,a baby and a husband into a day results in tales of the insane and a feeling of lurching through life with no clue what's going on. I have a keen interest in everything from planets to bones to quantum mechanics,and am a perpetual asker of the question 'why?'.

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